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Wedding bell blues PDF Print E-mail
Opinion
Written by Robin Hixson   
Friday, 09 January 2009 09:00
When did weddings become so complicated and expensive?
 
At the time I began helping my daughter plan her October 2009 wedding, we agreed the best course of action would be to keep it as simple as possible.

However, wedding standards have spiraled skyward in the 35 years since I was a bride. I thought the ceremony that united her father and me in holy wedlock, and the subsequent celebration, were lavish, but now there are so many items that have moved from the “extra” column to the “must have” column, I don’t know how we can prevent Maria and Andrew’s wedding from turning into what she calls a “production.”

Today, a limousine for the departing bride and groom is the standard, rather than the exception. Wedding decorations have expanded to include miles of ribbon so that huge bows and, possibly, flowers can adorn the ends of each pew in addition to those at the altar. Candles and flowers must be tucked into every corner of the sanctuary, as well as in the reception hall.

According to the wedding planner manual, gifts from the bride and groom for every member of the wedding party are essential, as are “save the date” cards sent out at least six months in advance of the wedding to everyone who will be invited. Then there are the requisite place cards for everyone at the reception, as well as favors such as mints with the happy couple’s names emblazoned on the wrappers and throw-away cameras on every table. And, of course, there must be satin seat covers for every guest’s folding chair.

While any one of these might not seem such a big expense, together they add up to a whopping rise in costs, far exceeding the effects of inflation.

Then, there is the honeymoon. Standards for a honeymoon have risen in recent years, so that young couples feel cheated if they don’t go on a wedding cruise to the Bahamas or something comparable. A trip to Florida or the mountains of Colorado is considered to be too cheap and mundane.

Now, really, how much time will a honeymooning couple spend outside their hotel room, anyway?

Fortunately, my girl and her beau are determined that current trends won’t dictate their wedding plans. There will be no engraved place cards at the reception. Flowers and decorations will be kept in check. While the groomsmen will wear tuxes, the bridesmaids won’t have to spend hundreds for gowns they won’t wear again. Instead, each will choose a black cocktail dress off the rack. The honeymoon is a prize they won in a cookware promotion.

Still, I am urging my daughter to keep all the plans as simple as possible because I not only want to keep their expenses and mine down, but because the more complicated a wedding becomes, the more stress it puts on the couple.

Most of all, I want Andrew and Maria to have a wedding day and honeymoon they’ll remember for its beauty and its joy, not for the hectic stress of putting on a production.
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a guest: ...
Kudos to you. I, too, am looking to have a daughter getting married in 2009. I watch the wedding shows on tv, Platinum Bride, and Say Yes to the Dress. None of that for us. And living in Osawatomie, the new trend is the Grand Loft. Have you asked anyone how much that costs...not for us. We will have a beautiful and memorable wedding, as I'm sure you will and will never lose sleep over the amount of money we didn't spend. Thanks so much for the insight.
1

January 16, 2009
a guest: ...
Amen. Silly of the couples or parent to take out loans for a wedding reception. A parish house reception or simple gathering afterwards is still perfect!
2

January 16, 2009

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